I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
