I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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