He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
