it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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