found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
