I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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