There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What a dumb baby whore.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
