last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.