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• (353): View more from

  i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (239): View more from Florida

  We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window

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• (631): View more from New York

  I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join

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• (716): View more from New York

  I was doing good, then they gave me free shots

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