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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (530): View more from California

  she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive

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