I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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