you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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