I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
