It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
