cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
