I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
