Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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