Dual....:-)
you would pick up someone in the library
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I supernannyed him into submission
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
