problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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