The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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