I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
