I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do vagina's smell?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
