I think my fart just growled at me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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