Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize