sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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