i think my tv is drunk
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this will be a night to untag.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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