White coat. Heels.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize