I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
one might say we're banned from that church
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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