I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
