just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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