idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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