so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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