elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They are going to name an STD after you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
