belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
