i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
