after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
