the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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