In the future we'll all be gay
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
