we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
