Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
