i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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