Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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