This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize