To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
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Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
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My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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