I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
