Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
