some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
