Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
