I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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