wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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