sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
