12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize