I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dick very happy bro
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
