Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize