I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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