she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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