youre lurking in front of me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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