Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
