Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
