Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
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