My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
